Monday, April 18, 2011

Once a cheater, always a cheater?

I had an interaction recently with a friend that seemed very awkward.  Initially I wasn't quite sure why things felt that way.  The conversation wasn't forced and followed a logical path, however the body language was off enough for me to pick up on it.  I tried to blow it off on the fact we haven't hung out in a while.

That all changed when I rounded a corner and saw a formal friend.  It became obvious to me that the awkward interaction was due to him hoping I would not realize his true reason for being in the place at the time.  A place no where near where he lives.

Two things crossed my mind, did he have the odd body language because he was hoping to control the situation so this other person wouldn't see our friendly interaction?  Or was he almost caught visiting this formal friend inappropriately?

The friend I spoke with has a boyfriend and they've been together for some time.  I'm not implying that he'd cheat but I do know they, at least, on occasion invite a third person into their bedroom.  I don't judge that choice but I also don't endorse it.  I'm clearly not one to judge because I'm not in their relationship and I'm not successful at romantic relationships to date.

The former friend, however, is a known cheater.  He seems like a catch from the outside but I know parts of his past that have a shady track-record.  It's ultimately the reason I had to end the friendship because the over-spilling drama was starting to be too much for me to handle when I was being questioned on past conversations I supposedly shared.

This former friend has a relatively new boyfriend, so I find it hard to believe he'd cheat on him, but this questionable private interactions make me wonder if one can ever really live outside a triangle once they are involved in them repeatedly.

Once a cheater, always a cheater?? 

Monday, April 4, 2011

The many faces of one child

Sometimes I can look at my son and see myself as a 6 year old child... other times he looks like a cousin from his Mom's side of the family.  This pic I see a lot of my sister... it's funny how someone can look like so many different people and yet be totally his own person. 

William on his own

Last Thursday there was an assembly held at William's school.  Those parents of children in the school who had been a Star of the Week in the last month were invited to attend, so I took an extended lunch hour and went to participate.

Upon reaching the school I noticed the children were still outside playing, during their lunch hour.  I immediately noticed William sitting on a park bench with a couple of other boys.  I was tempted to immediately go over and say hello, but instead took the opportunity to see William interact as an individual.  I watched him play with his friends, and even pick up garbage and dispose of it (hopefully that's a sign that we are raising an environmentally responsible boy).

I went inside the school, signed in as a visitor and went to his classroom to wait for the bell to ring.  When he came in he noticed me right away, so I explained why I was there (since he had not been with me that morning) and then made my way to the gym while the kids were ushered into class preparing for the assembly.

I sat on the side bench with the other adults and watched the kids come in.  Again I was taken back by the individual William is.  I know it might sound like I never pay attention to him when he's with me, but what I mean is that I felt like I had a sneak peak at who William is as a fully independent person.  School is his world.  The friends and interactions he has there are all his own; we don't have active influence on his relationships.  I was proud to see him confident and more outgoing than I've seen him at other times in his life. It was a very proud moment for me.

Also, that day I noticed him and a couple guys on the bench I wondered if perhaps they were there when the got in trouble.  On Friday when I picked him up after work I asked him if the bench was used as a time out if someone was in trouble and he said they were.  I then asked if that's why he and the other boys were sitting there and his face went blank.  BUSTED!  I told him he wasn't in trouble but I was just curious and he wouldn't talk.  I'm hoping that he will always be as obvious when he tells lies or caught at something, but we all know that will not be a long-lasting reality.