Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Coming out of the closet, again

I'm starting to realize that there will be times in my life where I'm going to have to come out of the closet again and again.  I'm not a flaming homo and I have an ex-wife and a son so people tend to assume that I'm straight.  And in making that assumption people will make comments that unintentionally put me on the spot.

And that's where I am right now, at my place of work.  I've been there over three months and as people learn more about me and develop friendships they say things based on the assumption that I'm 100% straight.  And I feel like I MUST come out at work very soon, because I almost feel like I'm lying about who I am.  And I haven't gone thru all of this struggle, to hide again.

My intention is to just pass on the fact that I'm a homo in conversation, at some point, without drawing much attention to it.  It's just a fact of my life; I've dealt with it and have nothing to be ashamed of yet I don't know why I've gone this long without just spitting it out.

The office culture I work in is well varied.  There is the full working age range represented in my office, and even within the group I work relatively close with.  Some of the older generation's opinion, I expect will be judgmental and not understanding but that's their issue, not mine.  There are also, at least two openly gay employees and having run into one of them at a local gay bar, I feel like I would rather address this rumor openly myself than have him create gossip about it.  Sidenote: he was very drunk, making out and feeling up another guy while on the dance floor and didn't notice me, so it's not a current concern.

Now I just have to find a way to bring it up.  I foresee two easy possibilities in the next couple of weeks: going to lunch with a coworker tomorrow, cause she wants to vent and a summer work party where drinks and dancing are involved and expected.  I just hope that by the end of June I'll have succeeded in coming out of the closet again.

No comments: