Time flies

Wow, it is close to a year since I have posted.  In all honesty I pretty much forgot this blog even existed until someone made a comment on one of my posts.  And it got me to thinking about how therapeutic writing was to me.  Maybe it's time to start this thing up again.

A quick point-form list of what I've been up to and what I plan to write about includes:

• Thoughts on coming out to my son, officially
• Worrying your ex-wife caught you on a walk-of-shame, that's not really a walk-of-shame
• Opening up to possibilities and the consequences
• Watching another couple's divorce path and realizing how far we've come
• English accents at a party can lead to me seemingly being proven right
• That awkward moment when you discuss Pride with your ex-wife
• Questioning true friendships and expectations I put on those friends
• Two female friends partake in cheating as "the Other Woman"
• Retire, Fire, Fire... team-build
• And where does one go from here

I don't fool myself into thinking it will be entertaining reading to everyone but hey my story might be entertaining to someone.  Ha! 

New Year's Resolution

On the eve of my 34th birthday I have decided to blog about where I am today in my mind.  It's a moment of looking at my reflection in the mirror.  Sure there are a few more wrinkles and a few more grey hairs but I think I look great for 34 (or 29+5 as some people like to refer to it).

For some reason I'm really looking forward to starting a new year.  I'm very optimistic about the direction my life will take this year.  I'm sure part of that is due to the fact that I'm on vacation this week and I'm leaving for NYC Thursday morning.  But I think a bigger part of it is that my life is quite settled.  

My divorce has been finalized, and with the exception of my ex-wife trying to increase her child support things are in a good place.  She just moved into her own place and I'd almost venture to say we are almost friends again.

I have also developed strong friendships with a couple of guys and grew closer with my friend Tori.  In the last year I have also walked away from a group of gay men who thrive on drama.  Sure my social life has changed and even Tori thinks I have isolated myself unnecessarily, but I have come to a point in my life where I would prefer to lose friends that have friends who talk behind each other's backs and try to hard to be something they feel is admired.  And walking away gave me a real sense of peace.  There really does come a time where you let go, and it's not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength and self-confidence.

My career on the other hand is in a very strange place.  I have no idea where my path lies, at this point.  There is a lot of turmoil in our office due to an over-abundance of work and lack of support from top management.  I have held meetings with management and we had a department meeting with management and there is a lot of talk without any backing up.  The staff, who have been there for many years are more frustrated than ever and some have started looking for new employment.  I warned the COO specifically that we are in borderline crisis mode and if we lose one member the crisis is guaranteed.  We will see what that means for my future.  At this point I'm not actively looking but I will keep my options open.

My career is also unsettled because I'm considering a real path change.  I have watched members on the corporate latter one step higher than myself and I see them continually be over-worked and under-appreciated and have an unhealthy work-life balance.  I don't see myself in those positions and I cannot justify continuing to spend thousands of dollars in tuition to put myself in that place.  I have officially decided to withdrawal from my professional designation program and take some time to look at new options.

I have been fortunate enough to travel this year.  I have been to Montreal, Mexico, Toronto and this week will be travelling to NYC solo.  In travelling I have also done a lot of thinking.  I have put my life on hold in many ways over the last few years.  I have stayed living back at "home" and have not really allowed myself to be open to dating anyone.  I'm making it a resolution this year to open up and take a few risks.  There are lyrics in the Maroon 5 song "How" that say

"though I don't understand the meaning of love

I do not mind if I die trying"

I think I'm willing to die trying.  I've questioned whether I really believe that love is enough and I've wondered if a true love really exists.  I'm no closer to the answer but I think romantically enough to be willing to spend my life trying and I know that risks being hurt.

So it's going to be another year of self-improvement mentally and physically.  It's going to be a year of taking risks and truly living life.  It's going to be a year of getting my life to a place I'm proud of or at least closer to my goals.  I will never give up on myself. 

Just can't settle

I don't know what's wrong with me... I have a complete inability to settle for things.  I'm 33.  I should be settled in my career but I'm not.  To be honest there's not that much I'm overly content with in my life.  What the eff is wrong with me?

I think I need a life coach.  

I want to take a risk and switch careers.  I want to move to a new city.  I want to date.  But I won't.  And five years from now I'll regret not having done it now.

I have one thing holding me here in Halifax and it's a six year old sitting in front of me eating pudding and watching cartoons before bed.  Well really it's my ex-wife holding me here, cause I have asked her to move so William could come with me.  Haha.

PS.  I know this post is unacceptably short and it's long overdue, but summer is the busiest time of the year it seems and I figure a post is better than none, and will hopefully get me back on track.  After all I've got some stories to share.

Update: After posting this a few hours ago I felt it necessary to make another note.

I am someone who is okay with never settling in one sense.  I NEVER want to be someone who is in a relationship where I settle at the expense of myself, just to be with someone.  And I would love to achieve personal goals, which also requires I don't settle into complete routine.  However, it would be great, if I could feel a bit more content in my choices in career and not always wonder if there's something better when feeling overworked and under-appreciated and there's no end in sight.

Coming out of the closet, again

I'm starting to realize that there will be times in my life where I'm going to have to come out of the closet again and again.  I'm not a flaming homo and I have an ex-wife and a son so people tend to assume that I'm straight.  And in making that assumption people will make comments that unintentionally put me on the spot.

And that's where I am right now, at my place of work.  I've been there over three months and as people learn more about me and develop friendships they say things based on the assumption that I'm 100% straight.  And I feel like I MUST come out at work very soon, because I almost feel like I'm lying about who I am.  And I haven't gone thru all of this struggle, to hide again.

My intention is to just pass on the fact that I'm a homo in conversation, at some point, without drawing much attention to it.  It's just a fact of my life; I've dealt with it and have nothing to be ashamed of yet I don't know why I've gone this long without just spitting it out.

The office culture I work in is well varied.  There is the full working age range represented in my office, and even within the group I work relatively close with.  Some of the older generation's opinion, I expect will be judgmental and not understanding but that's their issue, not mine.  There are also, at least two openly gay employees and having run into one of them at a local gay bar, I feel like I would rather address this rumor openly myself than have him create gossip about it.  Sidenote: he was very drunk, making out and feeling up another guy while on the dance floor and didn't notice me, so it's not a current concern.

Now I just have to find a way to bring it up.  I foresee two easy possibilities in the next couple of weeks: going to lunch with a coworker tomorrow, cause she wants to vent and a summer work party where drinks and dancing are involved and expected.  I just hope that by the end of June I'll have succeeded in coming out of the closet again.

I can handle it

Well I've survived the first week at my new job and I love it.  I'm working in tower 1 of Purdy's Wharf, which are landmark buildings on the waterfront of Halifax.  Just walking thru the pedways on the way to the office makes me excited to work there.  I love walking amongst the business suits heading to work with their coffee in hand.  It's strange but I feel like this is what I expected to experience after graduating with my commerce degree.  I thought I would be around people with high-power careers not working in an industrial park like my last stint.  And not that I have any issue with working in an office out of the downtown core, but the feeling I have just walking to work is one I expected after forking out tens of thousands of dollars to Dalhousie University.

The office itself has about 70 employees and I've met most of the staff, other than the majority of the lawyers. The staff are all very friendly and seemed to look forward to working with me.  The position I hold is Financial Analyst and it's a newly created position.  That means a couple of things: initially the duties I have are not completely settled and more importantly it gives me a great opportunity to develop the position and responsibilities into a career I will love to excel at.  And just thru speaking with the women currently working in the accounting department I feel like there is a lot of opportunities for me to improve functionality and efficiency within the office.  My major hurdle, I believe will be gaining their acceptance in changing things they have done for years; but I've turned on the charm and hope my shining (you can laugh) personality will help gain their respect enough to be accepting of my suggestions.

I'm also very much looking forward to digging into this position because I'm surrounded by people who are eager to excel in their careers and that feeling is contagious.  I haven't felt the excitement of climbing the corporate ladder since I started working at GMAC while in uni.  It truly is a new beginning to my career and exactly what I needed in my life.  

I know my feelings for the position are not going to stay this way forever; that the dust will settle and some Mondays I will have to drag myself from bed to get to work.  But for now I'm going to live in the moment of excitement because it's giving my life a positive direction I desperately needed.

I'm off the market!

It's official.  After three plus weeks of being unemployed I have officially received a job offer and I can't quite wipe the smile off my face.

I had applied for a position of Financial Analyst in early to mid-January that had a closing date of January 20th.  I had given up hope that I had a shot since I had not heard anything but then almost two weeks ago I got a call about the position asking what my required salary range was.  We all know how I feel about that question!  I gave them my goal salary, which was above my ending salary at my last job and was told I was within their range and that someone would contact me the next week.  Then last Tuesday I got a call requesting an interview for Wednesday; I accepted and rushed home to re-read the posting to see what the duties would be.   I then decided to do a bit of company research and go thru a matching exercise between my achievements and their requirements trying to predict their questions.

Upon walking into the firm on Wednesday morning, looking pretty fly in my suit if I must say so myself, I was completely impressed.  This firm is beautiful and I felt a twinge of being out of my league but then shook my head and refocused.  I waited for the HR manager to arrive. She soon ushered me into a boardroom overlooking the water, where we were joined by the COO and the director of finance.  I decided to ignore their titles and just be myself.

I got thru the interview, asked a few questions and left the office convinced that this was the job I wanted.  I walked back to my car re-hashing the questions/responses and whether there was anything I would change... and other than potentially inserting some humor I was satisfied.  I told myself I would just stay positive and see what happens.

By this morning, I had actually given up hope since it's been almost a week.  But then, while playing a board game with William my phone rang and I recognized the phone number.  It was the HR manager seeking my references.  I emailed them over to her, and within a couple of hours I had confirmation from two of those references that they had spoken with her already.  I was trying to hold back excitement because I could still be up against other candidates.  And then my phone rang... I was officially being offered the position.  At my asking salary, with full benefits from day one.  I tried to hide my excitement and got thru the call making a few notes and awaited my formal offer to arrive via email.

So here I go... feeling slightly intimidated but excited for the challenge.  Monday will be day one!

Overtime

Sidenote:  Wow... I've been away for a while now, eh?  It's funny how once you're unemployed you don't have enough time in the day to accomplish everything you want to.  How did I ever fit work in?

I'm in my second week of unemployment and this week I got a call for a staff accountant job position I had applied for in mid-January.  It's in the energy industry which should have a fairly good chance of being a stable industry so I accepted the offer for an interview.  And during the interview process two of the topics I hate to discuss during an interview came up: salary expectations and overtime.

The question of salary expectations came up during the initial phone call and again during the panel interview.  In both instances I gave them a dollar figure.  By giving them my expectation on the phone call I feel it already puts a limit on how well I can do during an interview, because they are already biased based on their budgetary constraints.  And then to ask again during the interview just confused me.  Were they hoping that I was going to change my mind?  Were they hoping I had been intimidated by some questions and the scope of the position so they hoped I would drop my expectation?  

The other question I hate is whether I'm willing to work overtime.  To me there is no option to how this question can be answered, and if I bombed the interview this would be the point.  I hesitated to answer for a moment and in watching faces I feel like this was not completely acceptable.  Now I am one who tries to leave work on time everyday, but I am a dedicated employee and if something has a deadline I will stay to meet that deadline.  But at the same time, I also have a life outside of work.  

Towards the end of the interview I brought overtime back up and explained that I wanted to discuss it further.  I explained that I have no issue working overtime at those times like month-end or year-end when deadlines are tight, but that if the job required overtime on a daily basis then this wasn't the position for me, because I am a dedicated father also.  The head of HR stepped in and explained their stance on work-life balance and that family is very important, but then she went on to explain a practice that is becoming all to familiar in Canada.

She told me that many woman, specifically, will take a laptop home with them and after they put their kids to bed they will work for an hour or two... Um, WHAT?  This is acceptable work-life balance?  I agree the flexibility to have a laptop to work from home is a great thing, but for it to be regular practice for someone to put their kids to bed and then go back to work is no work-life balance.  This is a clear sign that a company is understaffed.  Regular overtime is a sign of inefficiency or an unacceptable workload.

So now I'm at a crossroads in my mind.  I haven't received a second interview request yet, but they did ask for my references and whether I had any vacation plans in the next few months, which lean towards them considering me as a real candidate.  If I do get that call I'm going to have to ask some real questions to decide whether I will be a good fit for this company.  Or if maybe I continue in the process and if I attain the position work there until I can secure another job.

Oh this whole game causes the mind to race...

Headhunter

One week from today will be my last day of work at ING.  I am both looking forward to that day and slightly dreading it.  I am looking forward to it because I have reached the point where I find it hard to maintain my commitment to the company.  Not that I am not working, but I find it hard to justify working my ass off and staying late, when the door has been shut on me.  I'm dreading it because I have made some great friends here and I have still not secured my next job.

I spent a couple of sleepless nights budgeting my severance funds in my head.  Making sure I'd have enough cash to make my car payments, insurance premiums, RESP payments, etc until I am again gainfully employed.  I wish I was one of those lucky souls who is debt free but it's an unfortunate reality that divorce has taken a definite toll on my finances and my final "pre-bill" was in the multiple thousands of dollars.  I disputed the charges and have yet to hear back.  I'm hoping they will show some mercy.

A couple of weeks ago I forwarded an email, including my resume, to a headhunter here in Halifax.  It's a group that do a lot of staffing for accountant positions.  I had hoped to attain something on my own but since time is running out I figured I had better use all of the tools available to me and forward the information.

This Monday past, I met with the headhunter and we discussed my past experience in detail, salary expectations, industries I may be interested in working in, whether or not I would consider contract positions; all things I expected.  The woman, unfortunately, doesn't have much of a social personality, and I found that really hard to understand.  I would think that someone in her position would be very social; isn't that how she sells her clients?  I realized that when I was answering her questions I was talking for long periods of time and she would tune out at a certain point in my response.  I guess she just wanted the direct answer and not much background.  I also found it discouraging when she told me I was expecting the high end of the salary range for my experience.  This is hard for me to understand because when I took this job I took a fairly large pay cut, but I weighed out my being content at work versus cash and happiness won.  I didn't regret it, but at the same time I'm making about the same salary I was making at 26.  I'm 33 and feel like based on performance reviews, education and experience that I shouldn't have to again expect a pay cut just to fit into an organizations budgetary constraints.  We'll see how that battle goes.

And on Tuesday I went back to the office of the headhunter to write a test.  I'm guessing it's a placement test and was 35 multiple choice questions in 30 minutes.  I did very well on the test, which was a huge relief, since I'm sure that would have an effect on the types of jobs she will forward my resume for. 

So here I am, 6 working days (including today) until I'm unemployed for the first time since I was 18.  My severance package is generous so I could afford to be off until probably April before I have to cut into my RRSPs.  And I'm slightly terrified. The unknown has always been a huge fear.  If I knew I would be unemployed for the month of February I could handle that.  But this unknown factor is playing tricks on my brain.  I know I'm employable.  I'm a fast learner, socially capable and have spent tens of thousands of dollars educating myself.  I just need to get an interview.  Once I'm in an interview I'm completely comfortable and can sell myself.

Just waiting for the big break!

Something big this way comes??

Well the end of employment is now in sight and I've reached that stage I knew I would reach.  That stage where I can't get to sleep at night because I'm worried about money.  I lay with my eyes closed thinking about how many weeks I will be able to afford to go without a pay cheque.  How many car payments?  How many cell bills?  Should I cancel my gym membership?  Should I put William's RESP on hold?

It's a terrible time of the year to be looking for a job... at least that's what I've been told a few times by and employment counselor that has been assigned to our office.  And he actually had the nerve to tell me to just take any job and then look for something else when I secure something.  Is that what employment counselors get paid to tell you?  I thought that he would suggest ways to research employment opportunities that would stimulate me.  Help me find headhunters that would increase my odds of becoming gainfully employed.  That I should make the best of an awful situation and try and improve my position.  Nope.  Thankfully I'm not paying him.

Today I decided to submit my resume to a placement agency that specializes in the accounting industry.  I have heard some good things and some bad things, but lets face it... a job is better than none.

I'm also holding out hope that a Collections Officer position that I applied for with the province will at least result in an interview.  The pay would be comparable and it would get my foot in the door and possibly lead to opportunities that are far more stimulating to me than month end accruals. 

Who knows what the next few months will bring... I just wish I at least knew how long I would be unemployed so I could budget accordingly cause this lack of sleep is cramping my style.  

Interview #1

Tomorrow at 2:30 I will be sitting in front of two strangers while they bombard me with questions about my employment history, strengths and weaknesses all in the hopes of getting a job offer for a position I'm not 100% sure I even want.  

I consider myself lucky that I got a call, on the closing date, for an Intermediate Accountant job for Nova Scotia Power.  It's a job I am certainly qualified for, and it's our only power corporation, so that bodes well that if I get the job that I shouldn't be in this position again in two years but I have a couple of reasons to hesitate.  One is that I'm not confident that I want to continue to be an accountant for the duration of my career and two when they asked my salary expectations they said it was at the upper end of the range for the position, which means they had no intention of offering that salary.

I am going to go into the interview as if I'm convinced this is the best move for me, however if I do get a job offer I'm going to be faced with the decision of whether or not I'm ready to jump at a job offer prior to receiving my severance package and whether it truly is the best move for me professionally.  I think secretly I know that I'm holding out hope to get an interview for one of the Province of Nova Scotia jobs that I also applied for but doesn't close for another couple of weeks.

I will also be faced with the challenge of negotiating terms in relation to start date and salary which I'm not completely convinced I have the ability to do successfully.  Here's hoping I am faced with the challenge of deciding what to do...

Fork in the road

As I mentioned a while back the company that I work for was for sale.  On November 1st the $2+ billion dollar transaction took place; something that had increased our workload substantially over the summer.  And on Tuesday a town-hall meeting was called for all offices across Canada.  It would be at noon-hour meeting for us on the Atlantic coast.  Fear in the office was slightly escalated but at the same time, since we had received limited information on any restructuring, our hopes were that we would get some insight as to how our next few months would be affected.

We received an inner-office invite to merge in the conference room at 11:30 and have some lunch as we prepared for the tele-conference.  I opted to skip the pizza because I'm trying to get back on track with my eating and joined the group around 11:45.  As I walked down the hall to the conference room I noticed two of our VPs in the smaller conference room with someone I didn't recognize and instantly I felt my heart rate quicken.  

I joined the group with were all in active conversations, yet all nervously watching the door.  I sat down next to my friend Karen and soon the receptionist Karma joined us and we made idle chit chat.  Then one of the VPs came out and asked Karma to go downstairs because about 10 people would be arriving and needed to be escorted up to the board room.  My heart sunk and I knew what was coming next.

The group arrived in suits and stern faces.  Most shuffled their way thru the crowd and stood at the front of the room as the new owners started the conference call.  Most of the call I couldn't pay attention to because it was obvious that our future was negatively changing and it was out of our control.  We were told that we would each have one-on-one meetings with the members of staff from the new company to discuss our future and that for those who were not continuing on packages would be detailed.  Tears welled in my eyes.

The call lasted maybe 10 minutes but the weight on everyone's shoulders was beyond bearable.  We went back to our desks and waited out our individual turns.  We couldn't work; not only because we could not concentrate but also because all internet, including email was shut down until after meetings were held.  People who had been employed with the company long enough had a feeling we were all out of jobs immediately and started packing up their desks.  I did the same.  Taking down pictures of William and throwing out non-essential papers and gathering up the social committee petty cash and receipts and putting them in a safe with notes for whoever would deal with the funds.  It was a long three hours until my meeting.

Three hours of watching friends go into an office and come out with swollen eyes; packing up their stuff and leaving or for some there seemed to be a contract for them to consider, which extended their employment for a predetermined amount of time.  Finally it was my time to enter.  I had watched enough of my co-workers pass by to regroup and calm my nerves.  

I entered the office and met someone from the new company in a suit and see an envelope with my name on it on the table.  I made a joke and it broke the tension.  He told me he appreciated my attitude and then went into his speech about me being identified as a key employee and hoped that I would stay with the company until the end of January as part of the transition team.  Anything else he may have said is a blur and I was shuffled down the hall to a gentleman who worked for an independent HR company who would help me transition to my next employment opportunity.

I was offered employment until the end of January at my regular salary.  If I stay until the end of the contract I will also receive a bonus as well as a generous severance package.  Of course I will accept for two reasons... 1. I am terrified to be unemployed and have responsibilities and 2. if I don't accept the offer I get nothing.

So here I am, for a second time in two years, facing unemployment due to a restructuring.  This time, thankfully, I am not also dealing with a health scare and a marriage that is falling apart.  I am at a fork in the road and am now forcing myself to analyse my life and which path I want to follow.  While I was content with my job I knew it wasn't something I would do, at least with this company, for 30 years until retirement.  

The options ahead of me right now are to either stay in the accounting field and continue my designation, or go back to school for a new path, or find alternate employment that utilizes my existing skill set but is perhaps in a different capacity.

Today I have spent the day in Starbucks drinking tea, doing some networking via email, making lists and doing some research.  And it's funny.  Initially I was scared to find out my fate, but unlike my last layoff, I'm looking forward to the change.  It's an exciting stage to be in, regardless of the unknown.  I'm going to try and embrace it this time and try and find a career that is more rewarding than things I have done in the past.

Onto greener pastures??

Over the course of the past year the company that I work for has put the arm of the business that I work for up for sale.  When the announcement first came down in a town hall meeting, I was here less than six months, and I looked around the office trying to survey the faces of my coworkers for the same panic that I was feeling.  I have been thru a restructuring and job loss before, with GMAC, and of course my fears might have been heightened by that but no one in the room seemed phased by the whole announcement.

Now with the sale confirmed to be taking place on November 1st our future is up in the air to some degree.  The purchase of our business is a huge undertaking for our new owners and although they work in our industry the scope of our business is overwhelming, to say the least.  That being said, their corporate office is currently in Toronto, not Halifax like my existing office.

Yesterday was a key day in the process for the group of employees that I am a member of.  There were meetings yesterday, which was basically an information gathering process, but the reality of the transaction about to take place was brought to reality for many of my coworkers.  And with that reality came a lot of fear and borderline tears for some when they thought about the fact that this new company has no ties to our currently employees and we may get left behind.  All the years of work some have put in; the unpaid overtime and personal sacrifices they thought they were making to further their career may have been for nothing.  Even our bosses are showing signs of fear.  It's terrifying. 

Today we have to try and get back to regular business and keep pushing thru and hope that our meetings had a positive impact on our future operations.  I'm hoping I am not back on the job hunt again.  I was never one who liked change and since March 2008 I have already had four jobs.  The anxiety of being potentially unemployed is building within me and I don't know what to do.  BUT, I am a HUGE believer that things happen for a reason and this may be a change in the path that I need to undertake in order to be more fulfilled.  Perhaps this is when I will go back to school and start over; something I have been thinking of for some time.  Here's hoping if my office is shut down I'm moving onto something better.

Hard to get over a good job

It has been over two years since I found out that I had lost my job with GMAC; March 31st will actually be the anniversary of the day I cleaned off my desk and left behind a career I thought I would have until I retired.


I was very lucky to have had the opportunity to work at GMAC. It was by chance that a co-worker at the Gap, my university part time job, was the wife of the Atlantic Regional Manager for the office and heard I was looking for a co-op placement. Next thing I know I’m being interviewed and offered a position. When that semester ended, I was offered a second work term, and then in my final year of university, I got a call from one of my previous supervisors asking if there was a chance I would come back part time. And part time is not something GMAC had ever done. It was great. Each step had earned me more experience, income to pay for another semester of university and I learned more about the automotive financing business. And upon graduation I was offered a contract and seven years and a couple of promotions later I found myself looking at a choice to move to Toronto or take a severance package.

I had been very spoiled at GMAC. I had a group of coworkers that were relatively close to my age and were easy to get along with. I had supervisors and regional managers who saw value in me, and at one point I was told I could easily go as high as I want in the company. Pair that with excessive benefits, thanks to the automotive union, which allowed me to reach five weeks of vacation and even a health care spending account over and above the amazing core plan.

Since losing that job, I have had three more. This third job seems to be one where I could have a future. The others offered me a future, but they just weren’t the right fit. But the job I have now gives me an environment where I feel my growth is possible, the money isn’t that bad and the benefits are standard in the industry. I don’t hate coming to work everyday, like I have in the past positions, but I don’t feel settled. Maybe settled isn’t the word, because I don’t feel like I should be looking for another job, but I guess it feels temporary.

Surely some of the temporary feeling is me adjusting to all of the changes that happened in my life in these last two years. Prior to that day I lost my job my life was pretty stable. Change wasn’t really something I was accustomed to.

Maybe part of it is my maturing into my thirties and realizing that I want to be passionate about my job. I know most people just go to work Monday to Friday and just push through the weeks and years to retirement, but I was always a kid who dreamt big and I always thought my job would be something I wanted to do.

And I can’t forget the fact that there are 28 years until I’m 60. Not that I want to be older than I am, but I want to retire around 60 (if not sooner). Is there anyway I can even stay in the accounting field for another 28 years? I guess only time will tell.

Social Committee

So in an effort to combat my initial shyness at work (I guess I shouldn't be shy, having been here five months) I decided to join the social committee.  They were rotating members, and I have participated as a member at previous employers, so I thought why not?  It will allow me to get to know the team members better and it will force me to go to these events I tend to shy away from in my first year of employment.

Well our first meeting was last week and I learned we are mandated to have four events every year.  A spring event, summer event, a staff Christmas party and children's Chirstmas party.  Can I start by saying that it's great that we call the latter two events Christmas parties?  Not that I am intolerant of other beliefs, but if there's a Christmas tree in the room then why can't people call it a Christmas party? 

There are five of us on the committee, one of which is the overweight man I mentioned in an earlier post, and he nominated himself as the Chair.  I think I underestimated his weight in that earlier post; now that I have watched a few episodes of the Biggest Loser, I now think he's at least in the 470 lb range.  And as if his size wasn't big enough, now I find that his point of view is just as big.  He definitely likes to take the lead, but unfortunately in doing so he goes in multiple directions and nothing gets accomplished.  Thankfully he was receptive to my interjections that would get us to commit to making action items.  I'm only two meetings in, and already I fear this is going to be a long year of planning.

So while discussing possible things to do for our spring event he starts talking about how much he enjoys poker and every Wednesday night he plays at Dooley's and that should be our event.  A couple of other members suggest things like Kartbahn, which is an indoor go-cart track, or a movie, or a pubcrawl, but the chair pretty much has it settled in his head that we are doing the poker and pool afternoon and is going to call to see what kind of deal he can get... and maybe they will throw in chicken wings and friend pepperoni.  Needless to say, when I am up against someone like that I tend to not allow anyone to get pushed around, and I will come up with a couple ideas, research pricing and will present it at our next meeting. 

Part of the reason I joined was because with my past employers, the social committee was really key in developing friendships within the office and allowed us to interact with management on a relaxed level, which I think facilitated a better work environment.  I know strong opinions are a natural occuring thing, but I am going to work hard, and will be the asshole if need be, to have events that everyone would enjoy and not just a small group of people. 

I'm not saying that people won't enjoy poker.  In fact strip-poker has been a lot of fun in the past.  But I think a certain amount of concensus is required or people won't show up to the events.  If in our small group of five there are three other people providing options than each of those options need equal consideration.  At least until budget comes into play, than I might have to put my foot down... cause I'm the treasurer and we all know that money is the deciding factor.

New job pains

One thing that has plagued me at my last job, and is now rearing its ulgy head today is being in a position for a few months, and then it occurs that one job duty was never dealt with since the new person (me) took over the job.  And not only has it not been done for a few months, but damn, people need that done yesterday.

I know I should not feel any responsibility for the oversight, but indirectly it reflects on me and makes me feel incompetent.  Pair that with my supervisor emailing a coworker and asking her to pretty much drop her day to help me and no one sitting down with me to show me the basics in order to facilitate my completing the topic.  And then the kicker, it has to be done before leaving today.  I don't know if y'all remember?  I have a son, and custody that I fought hard for, so I am not keen on picking him up late.

Needless to say, I emailed the supervisor and co-worker asking for some guidence and will be working as efficiently as possible (the reason for said email) so I can get my ass out of here at 5pm and the reports will be done, so I can be back on my regular track tomorrow.

Don't get me wrong, I like my new job, I just want to be fully trained.  I want to know all of my basic duties, have a schedule I can reference with the due dates and get into a cyclic flow.  Then when some new analysis comes up and needs to be done right away, I know what my work load is like and can adjust in other areas to meet the need.  Also, my supervisor is a great guy and is fine with me asking questions and seems to have positive feedback for me, but I just don't like not being one of the best employees that he can rely on.  Here's hoping nothing else has been overlooked.