Do-Over

There are a few things in life I wish I could have a big reset button that I could press and it would take me back to a certain point in my life so I could take a different direction, or make a different decision.  Just like nintendo games back in the day.  If you started off a game and made a bad move and missed out on scoring an extra life, you would just hit reset and start over, rather than play the rest of your game at some sort of disadvantage.

Now, I say that I want this button, and it would open up the whole idea about what one change in history would do to the rest of your existance, because of interactions with other people, etc.  But I say I want that option, but interactions with others I would want to stay the same.  I wouldn't change relationships I have had, and I would never do anything to change having William, but I sure wish I had a do-over for my education and career choice.

When I graduated high school I thought the direction in my life was to go to university, get a BSc then move on to dentistry.  Come on!  What was I thinking?  I was in no way prepared for the reality that was Dalhousie University.  I am sure as I progressed and aged I would have faired okay, but did I really want to scrape plaque from someone's mouth who never flosses?  Really?  Is it worth the money?

Being the 32 year old that I am now, I look back and wish that I had thought long and hard about the BEd program.  Sure, at the time I was lacking some of the confidence I have now, well a lot of the confidence I have now.  But I think I would make a great teacher.  I would probably end up in a junior high or high school setting teaching science, math or french, but I would have liked it.

It would satisify part of my career that is missing, the desire to give something back in my work.  It would also give me the flexibility of having summers and holidays off when William is on break from school.  And I just think I would have a level of satisfaction that I don't currently have.

Every once in a while I play with the idea of becoming a teacher.  In fact last night I bought a lotto ticket wishing I would win just $50,000.  It would be enough to pay off my debt and support William and I for a while, so I could go back to school.

I know I am old and I should settle into a rythmn until retirement, but when I think about having 33ish years left I can't help but think it would be worth the switch at this point in my life.  And I would be willing to work in any school.  I know teachers in the past have feared certain areas of the city, because of the rough neighborhoods, but those would probably be the most rewarding years.

So if anyone has a do-over button... can I press it... just this once?