Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Unmotivated

Is it just me, my whole generation, or everyone?  I don't know what the problem is but I am severely unmotivated to work.  I find it hard to get up in the morning, no matter how much sleep I have had.  I find it hard to get to work on time (not that I'm habitually late).  And once I am at my desk I find it hard to concentrate at the task at hand.  I'm constantly wanting to check out celebrity gossip, email accounts, favorite blogs.  All these distractions.  And there are times when I finish one part of a task, and logically should move onto the next step, but realize my hand has seized the mouse and is back on the internet looking to see if something is upated somewhere, or maybe this time I will check CNN.  Why?  I don't really like the news, but maybe, just maybe something is happening in the world that I have to be the first to know about.

And here I am in a job that I like, learning a ton of new things, and have only been here a couple of months, so there is no way I should be tired of the job yet, but I'm already fighting the urge to look for something new.  Actually, who am I kidding?  I just emailed a recruitment office for more information on a job with the federal government.  Seriously, what is my problem?  Am I missing a certain nutrient in my diet that controls my ability to focus?  And I am doing this on company time.  I am screwed up.

I used to be very driven to prove myself.  I loved learning every aspect of my job, and of the people who worked around me.  I wanted to know it all, and be more efficient at it, so I could climb the latter of the corporate world to the corner office. 

Maybe I need that piece of meat hanging in front of my face, saying that promotion is possible.  Maybe I need an incentive of a pending raise.  Maybe I need a kick in the ass.  But I think maybe I realized life is short and that our society has it all wrong and I am rebelling against the establishment. 

Surely, our forefathers did not work their bodies to the bone for all of our advancements just so I could sit at a desk for 35 hours a week.  In fact, my guess is they worked so hard so that we could have an easier life.  That perhaps we could spend more time with our families, enjoying the simple life, than we do working outside the home.

I certainly hope that my son has it easier than me.  I want him to enjoy life more and work less.  I'm not talking being lazy, but maybe having more vacation, seeing more of the world, and building a ton of memories.

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